Valentines Day

So... It's time I get a little personal with you guys. Now, I'm going to tell you a scary, dark story. A story about a day that has haunted MANkind for centuries, Valentine's Day. Long before All Hallows Eve, before Bloody Sunday, Before Friday the the flipping 13th...Was Valentine's Day. Now, this is a personal story, and I'm not going to go around spewing people's names without their approval, and I hope the girls who have lived this story with me realize that they're very important to my life, and that this post is too. In fact, this blog is really important to me. All my friends, my family, Halo, they're all really important things to me. In fact, most of what I come into contact with is important to me. And what's even more important to me is you guys. All the views, the subscribes, the comment, the people who might not know the face behind the computer screen, but even without seeing my face, (which is devilishly handsome fyi) have grown attached to this blog. Yeah, this is all sappy, and you wanted to hear a funny story, and I'm digressing (which if you didn't know...dang it I did it again.), so here it is.


Now, for all of the guys who read this blog, you know how hard it is to find the perfect gal. And I have it even worse. In fact, guys and gals can relate to the situation I'm in. So, for the first girl in this story, we have Noodles (Insert Gorillaz reference here. Oh and if you do not know who the Gorillaz are, stop reading right now and hit this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoQYw49saqc&list=PL04633729440EBC50). Cute, Funny, My Best Friend, Ex-Ex-Ex Girlfriend (she broke up with me over a sandwich), I used to...well, technically I still am her Hero when it comes to Bullying...And massages. Next up, we have...(wow, I have so many suspenseful parts in this post. Maybe this is a creepy story) Zelda (Insert Legend of Zelda references here. If you don't get this, let the gods of video games take your sad soul.) She's...Let's just say, gorgeous. Honestly I'm not afraid to say this. Gorgeous. So, enough introduction, heres the story. Our young, sleek, handsome Cyrix walks in to school on Monday, about 7 minutes early (Ha ha, see what I did there, Ok if you don't get this one, stop reading my blog.). Noodles is talking to her friend, Cerberus (she's a girl.). Now Cyrix, still without a Valentine's thinks in his head. "Well, Ha...Noodles isn't here, and I do have a huge crush on Zelda. Doubt she'd say no...man this is hard." So what did Cyrix do? He went up and got all X Empire Noire in the Hizzy House. (Insert Jersey Shore Reference Here. Insert Past Post Reference here. Man, I'm going to fill out this list in no time flat.) After Analyzing the clues, and Science, of course, showed him nothing, because the whole situation is illogical. Science would dictate to go for the most beautiful girl, as shown with Darwinism. If you aren't in High School, and the average Joe, you might not understand Darwinism. It dictates that a species will evolve or mutate every so often. Now, if the mutation helps the animal to survive and/or attract a mate, it stays. Does nothing and or is dangerous, the mutation is removed. Now, science would also dictate that I should be talking about mating at this young age of mine, and that I'm talking like and Erudite (Insert Divergent Reference here.) But, once again, I digress. Cyrix did the most logical thing he could do...Eenie Meenie Miny (Minnie? Minny?) Mo. His index finger was a lot smarter than he was. So, it choose Zelda. Stupefied by Zelda's glory, he forgot about Noodles until he got to class. Then he was ready to blow his brains out. Noodles would be heart broken, and he would probably lose his best friend.  After his conscience beat the heck out of his mind (Shoutout to fellow blogger. Well, Guess I don't need this list any more.), he realized he would need to change his name to Repert, move to Kazakhstan and purchase a Segway...or just tell the truth. Kazakhstan it was. I'm messing with you guys, I cam up with a plan to fix this all. Move along Schwarzenegger, Cause Cyrix was operating this Prison break of love. One, he'd need to tell Noodles that he choose Anasta...Zelda, not her. Then, comes Valentines Day, he'd bust out the finest Chocolates and ask this...Voulez-vous être mon Valentin?(French, if you wanted to know.)
But, turns out Noods was going to be out with Mickey and the Gang on Valentine's Day. She was leaving for Orlando on Wednesday, meaning Cyrix probably was screwed.

The day of reckoning came. Wednesday. My Mom had purchased a specific package full of only the best aztec chocolates. No, it was a normal box that said you rock one it with three small little chocolates. The Idea was set. Give Noodles the chocolates discreetly so that Zelda wouldn't know, and come Valentine's Day, ask Zelda so she doesn't feel like a two pound chiwawa, (she'd have to ask her dad if I didn't ask her), I'd ask her to. Now, technically, I'd be what science would call, a cheater. But, this was out of respect and kindness. So, Cyrix gave Noods the candy, (I am not speaking about naked people, Nood's, nut Nudes.) Got a kiss on the cheek (one of the few perks for being so awesome), and they spoke for a bit. Then came the day of Judgement. The battle was set out. A sing off. Between Cyrix and Zelda. She decided to do the most cliche song, Radioactive. I sang Clint Eastwood. Now, technically, I won...No she won. No, no one won because Cerberus gave me...c*** (trying to keep things kid friendly. Wait, kids say that all the time. Wait, I'm a kid!) about my song, and technically booed me, even the her voice sounded like the death of a throatless cow. Now, after that, I decided I'd ask her...Voulez-vous être mon Valentin. Okay, so this isn't the most romantic thing I've down, but still it was nice. Any way, Cyrix gave her this really sappy card, but, honestly, it was form his, my heart. And she loved it.