Lying...It's complicated.

So, if you remember the last post about lying, I left you guys on a cliff hanger. None of you decided to tell me who was lying.  Now, this wasn't really a fair game. Clintons head was moving when the took the picture, but if it wasn't, he would be lying. I used this picture not for any political reasons, just as a way for you guys to test yourselves. but, now you're going to learn to be a spy. From love to money, people lie and cheat. Trust me, I've lied before. In honor of Team Fortress 2, shall we. So, the best way to lie is not to lie at all. 
"Captain Obvious, He's our Hero!"
"Who the Cookie are you."
" I don't know, aren't you Captain Obvious. I'm......a....finish the word...."
"...Hater?"
"H8r, yes I am. The spamming, jerky robot with some tude, who doesn't need food. Okay, now I'm hating myself."
"Look, this post is all about lying, not you. You'll come into play a few posts later."
"Activating. Select Time."
"Wait, what are you doing. No,I'm not going back to the future. No...No...No,I didn't spam you with hate mail yet. NOOOO!!!!!!"
What the cookie just happened? Any way, I'm going to have to lie about what happened to Practically everyone. Some get me a neuralizer. (MIB reference. GOOYRAWI(get out of your rock and watch it.)
Well, shockingly, I don't have a neuralyzer, I have a republica. We have Robin Hood in this Empire. But, I've digressed a lot. Lying. It's an art work. Something you need to learn and nurture, and let it fall flat on your face. Don't lie kids. Nothing ever goes good. 
But, you came here to prove you can be the best liar. You're going to go far in life. Heh Heh (Walks away slowly.) Well, Sometimes lying can save lives. But, let's get down to it. 
#1. You maggots and your hashtags shagatins and your Yolos will be exiled from the Empire.
#2. The person you're lying to isn't as dumb as you think. If you have the bloody knife in your hand, don't say it wasn't you. Make your lies believable.
#3. Tell the lie before they find out what happened. if you, let's say stole their cookie. Then your going to jail. The End.
#4Tell the lie before they find out what happened. Let's say you stole their apple juice. Tell them someone ran of with it before someone else tells them.
#%. If all else fails, DO THE HARLEM SHAKE!!!